Have you ever wondered why people are so willing to take your time? After all, is there a reason they aren’t able to do what they are asking you to do? And have you ever noticed that most of the requests aren’t asking you to do fun things?
Learning to say “No” takes practice. We are taught to be nice and helpful… and there are people who will take advantage of this quality. Some people might actually need help, but before you agree to help someone, I mean give up your limited time, you need to take a minute and see if the request is fair and that it makes sense.
I was recently in a company lunch room and a person was getting up to leave. As they departed they asked if I would take their tray up to the trash can because they were “running late.” My inclination was to think “no a big deal,” but I stopped myself. In thinking about the request, it occurred to me that I didn’t cause this person to be late, I didn’t know the person, so why should I volunteer, I mean give up my time, to clean up his mess. I quickly said, it shouldn’t be a problem for him as the trash can was by the door on his way out. The oddest thing happened. The guy was stunned that I wasn’t going to clean up his mess-- he picked up his tray and left.
Learning to say "No" to people doesn't make you uncaring, rude, or selfish. No one has a right to your time. A day only has 1440 minutes. As an exercise, why not keep track of how many minutes in a day you give away to other people... keep the log for a week. Did you give away a half day or a full day? Could you have used that time to focus on your 20% of high return activities?
