Have you found yourself struggling to make decisions and then being upset you didn’t get what you want? It’s easy to make excuses like “Frank is the favorite at work;” or “Things always seem to work out for Missy.” I can’t do “blank” because I have a handicap. Or “I’ve tried to do it before and I failed.” Jealousy, envy, and self-pity are some of the trappings when you don’t take responsibility for your life. It’s unattractive and unproductive. But it doesn't have to be this way...
Guess what? YOU are the person that has the greatest amount of CONTROL over YOUR LIFE. You can’t pretend like things just happen to you, that you are unlucky, or that you weren’t in the “right place at the right time.” You need to take responsibility for who and what you are at this point in time, and decide WHO WILL YOU BE IN THE FUTURE. This might sound a bit harsh, but if you want to make a change in your life… it isn’t going to happen the way you want unless you become an active participant in YOUR LIFE.
Let’s do a thought experiment, you know, where we demonstrate something to prove a point, but we do it in our own head. Here’s what I want you to do: “DON’T THINK ABOUT YOUR BELLY BUTTON FOR THE NEXT FIFTEEN SECONDS.” AS YOU TRY TO DISTRACT YOURSELF, REALIZE YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT YOUR BELLY BUTTON. You might actually even hear an echo in your head, “don’t think about your belly button.” And finally, realize the simple task of keeping track of 15 seconds means you are thinking about your belly button.
There was an experiment done with children many years ago. A psychologist took a group of kids to a street with a curb. He asked those children to be careful not to trip on the curb… spoiler alert, many kids tripped on the curb. The same psychologist then took a second group of kids across the same street with the same curb… instead of saying “don’t trip on the curb” the children were instructed to “step up” onto the curb… spoiler alert, the children didn’t trip.
How we position life events in our head will have a significant impact on our ability to get what we want. If we fall into a trap of expecting the worst or seeing ourselves as a spectator rather than an active participant in our lives… we will never realize the possibilities of what our lives could become or how far we can go professionally. We might procrastinate, or overthink decisions, or play the victim card, or replay the same old responses we always use and act surprised when we don’t get a positive outcome. YOU are reading this article because you WANT to be in a better place, TO MAKE MORE EFFECTIVE CHOICES. It all starts with a choice: do you want to make excuses or TAKE RESPONSIBILITY?
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY leads to options, which gives you opportunities, REDUCES STRESS, and improves your feelings about yourself. Understanding the things that hold you back is Freeing. You learn to THINK DIFFERENTLY to change perspectives WHEN STUCK.
You will be faced with things that you don’t control and cannot change. You can’t relive your past. You also can’t control other people’s behavior or what they think about you. Understanding what you DO have control over helps you CLARIFY the IMPORTANT THOUGHTS, the ones that mean something to you and the actions you take. When you see yourself as an active agent, NEW POSSIBILITIES ARE OPEN TO YOU. It takes time and practice, but you can change the way you see the world, improve difficult situations, and THINK ABOUT YOURSELF… YOUR POSSIBILITIES. Call for a consult!
Time and Clarity of Thought are Your Most Valuable Resources
